Dealing

Sometimes you think that you are just over it. I mean you make it to 27 years as a Fat kid/women only to have pesky people all over you. But how do you deal?

When I was a little fat girl, back in elementary school I had a special bully. She is now a Disney/Pop Star and once dated a Reality "Star." She never (to my face) bullied me about being larger but definitely tried to take me down because I was a goody two shoes and was generally confident - I mean I always held my head up high and shoulders back. I was a good, happy kid and I wasn't her friend, well she used to imitate the way I walked and how "good" I was and well I just ignored it and now I kinda resent the fact that I never said anything.

In high school and College I used to be the type who got in your face and shouted and "Stood Up for What I Believed In." Now I usually just ignore the hate because I just don't have the energy to deal with it all but when is enough, enough? Especially when your character is on the line. Talk all you want about my thighs and my rolls but don't try to put me down as a person, same goes for being two faced. Can't stand the Mean Girl Attitude and I refuse to tolerate it. So you get ignored and pushed out my life.

So to my "many" readers (ha!) how do you deal?

Hi?!?!?!?

I'm back, I guess....
I've been toying with the idea of returning to my blog for a while now and because of a friend at work decided today should be the day. I wish I could tell you I have evicted the fattie inside me but, yeah, no!

Still fat and well not so okay with it but I told myself that this wouldn't be the fat girl blog post. I'm just gonna catch you all up with what's been going on with me in the past year.

Had 2 jobs, quit both, had a lame job, quit for dream job,lost dream job and landed at a major giant retail store(leaving the name out to protect the innocent, HA!)

Edwin and I made a huge step and drum roll please.....................moved in together. No ring as of today but quite happy together. After 5 years don't get me wrong, we have our tiffs but I feel like Charlotte in Sex and the City. I'm happy everyday, not every minute of each day but at least once a day I'm happy.

Missy is well Missy Foo. She got her hair cut and is adorable except the groomer didn't leave enough hair for a pony, she doesn't care but it bothers me.

House is 97.9% complete and we are celebrating by having some friends over to drink and eat and well lets be honest to look in our medicine cabinents.

So that's pretty much it for now.....OH! I almost forgot I have a new Nephew Christian Jacob who is my little peanut and so freakin cute. Lurves him!

So really that's it. I promise the next post will be so much more enlightening and entertaining but just trying to get back into the groove of spilling my guts to whoever reads this. And expect more than just my weight loss journey I'll tell you all so much more.

LOVE ELLE!

In between Plus Size

Just got back from Macy's where I got 3 dark wash wide leg trouser style jeans( my fav!) for under $70 but that's beside the point. What I find interesting is that I finally found a pair of plus sized jeans that fit (14w from Style and Co)but I ended up buying a size 16 of the same jean from the "regular" section-primarily because they didn't say that they were a pair of Women's jeans. Does anyone else has an aversion to the little 'w' on the tag?

I'm back

I'm back, I never stopped my journey just got sidetracked with other things that I thought were more important. But I'm learning to refocus and hopefully as I do things will fall into place. I still weigh over 200 pounds and while I wish I was ok with it, I'm not and I guess that's a good thing because being okay with it would mean that I don't care anymore. And I do and I will continue to care about myself and my surroundings.

Current Height 5 feet 4 inches, current weight 215.4lbs, total weight lost 7.6lbs
Current BMI 37

Downward Spiral

What I enjoy most about Weight Watchers is that it goes week by week, if you f*(k up one week fine, just start over the following week. Still going up, next week is a do over. It makes my weight loss more managable and even though I've gained weight back I'm ok. This is my do over week. Where else in life do you get a do over?

Forget about those 10 pounds

So I gained back what I lost last week and perhaps I have to chalk it up to not seeing myself for who I am. Despite my minor gains I can still sabotage myself. I am a creature of habit and until eating within my means is my habit I will always be one bite away from sabotage.
Is is scary that when we think we are really making leaps and bounds that we are only hoppping and skipping along and that one untied shoelace can knock us down?

I thought I was getting better and doing what I had to do and one week of not writing down what I put in my mouth (all the time) and not lifting weights(I thought more cardio would be key) and a few midnight snacks(no excuse) would be okay because here I was, new and improved 10 lbs lighter. Well so I thought. Weight and food will always be a struggle with me. No matter how much I lose I have to except that I will always be fighting the urge to over eat. So its back to my measuring cups and saying no to the cheese and bread and the (what was she thinking) midnight quesadilla my mom makes when she can't sleep and I'm up working.

On a side note I turn 25 today and while I didn't lose my 25lbs by my 25th birthday and nothing really turned out the way I wanted it to for today I'm okay with that and that makes me feel like I'm on my way to becoming a better person, fat and all.

Doesn't mean that I don't want to lose the weight its just not a race to the finish kinda battle anymore.

I lost 10.2lbs!!!!!

So I lost 10.2lbs and I know I haven't blogged in a long time am I'm sorry but I've been super busy and exhausted so I promise that I will blog better starting Saturday....so till then....I LOST 10.2lbs!

Weight 212.8lbs BMI 36.5 lost 2.4lbs Total lost 10.2lbs